Will become the kindergarten teacher all dads fall in love with. Jenny: The one nice girl in the mean girl friend group. Christy: Perpetually single because boys are scared of her. Kristen: Gets along really well with your parents. Drinks like she is sponsored by Bud Light. Rebecca: Dyed her hair blonde in college and then got hot.
Emma: Her dad got her that internship. Colleen: Owns that giant, professional Nikon camera and takes the shittiest photos with it. Madeline: Her parents try really, really hard to be cool parents. Lily: Has a nail art Instagram. Alyssa: Lays her poetry books out around her apartment, hoping someone will read them and then try to discuss it with her, only for Alyssa to feign shock and embarrassment that her poetry has been discovered. Gabby: Talks a lot about her feelings on the internet. Claire: Never paid for anything in her entire life.
Tara: Wore too much eyeliner in middle school. To me a big butt is when the butt glute muscles actually are big compared to the legs That's a big butt and he legs are somewhat slim. Amy: 100% going to get catfished. You should like Thought Catalog on Instagram. Will take her shirt off at parties. Tiffany: The prettiest girl in 7th grade.
Heather: Currently dating the wrong guy. Kim: Married her high school sweetheart. Grace: Considered her sixteenth birthday to be the most important event of her existence. I wonder who's a bigger idiot, me or the people who apparently saw me write that white women with big butts are lame? Diana: Constantly talks about how empowering pole dancing is for women. But of course, a lot of men are idiots. Holly: Taught you how to sext. I suppose you're all with the people who say that Christina Hendricks has a big butt too.
Morgan: Feels really comfortable getting naked in front of her roommates. I'm pretty sure my butt looks bigger than hers. Becky: Everything is always going wrong for her. Yeah, I'm an idiot because I can tell what an actually big butt is. Maddy: Can probably name all the capitals in the United States if you asked her to.
Taylor: Says she loves to party, leaves the party before midnight. Madison: Not hot enough to be as much of a bitch as she is. Monica: Type-A to a horrifying degree. Sam: Grew up refusing to wear a dress because she was such a dedicated tomboy. They either have wide hips which isn't a big butt or they also have big thighs and wide hips.
Stephanie: Peaked in high school. Allison: Still thinks the Blair Waldorf headband thing is cool. Just because she has big thighs and wide-ish it doesn't mean he has a big butt, it's still relatively flat from the side or is a slight bump. Brittany: Does that thing where she screenshots her hot Snapchats and then posts them on Facebook. Ashley: Crying while looking at herself in the mirror right now. Kate: Knows how to work her mugshots.
Alex: Has a naturally loud voice. Sarah: Will never let you forget she went to an Ivy League. Jennifer: Trying to bring down the patriarchy by bringing it up on every first date. Cara: The worst temper of all time. Will Instagram her Starbucks drink and does not give a fuck. Erica: Very respectable, really normal. Margot: Low key wants that Pinterest wedding.